I went to a sexologist.

COPYRIGHTED IMAGE. | Reproduction prohibited.

WRITTEN BY GUSTAVO SCAT.

— Me: I have a fetish for poop, pee, farts, and spit.

— Marcelo: Uh-huh…

— Me: They’re very different things…

I had scheduled the appointment days earlier. I didn’t know how he would react, I didn’t know how I would react… And my biggest fear was hearing something like, “Yes, you’re sick.”

Since I recorded my entire in-person psychoanalysis session, I’m listening to the audio and typing out our conversation exactly as it happened. Word for word. Ipsis Litteris. I don’t recommend that you do the same (record the session). The therapist’s name has been changed.

(...)

— Marcelo: All right. I’m a psychoanalyst, so I follow the Freudian school of thought—the school that changed the concept of sexuality worldwide. Everything we think about sexuality today is Freudian. Words like “libido,” words like “horny”… All of that comes from Freud.

This libido is, for example: Ah, when I’m there eating food I like, and I have a reaction like, “WOW, that was so good…”… Freud says you’re “coming” while eating. He uses this sexual language for non-sexual things.

He says that coming is nothing more than an orgasm as a release of displeasure. So he starts talking about a theory of pleasure and displeasure… He says that having an orgasm is kind of like taking off a tight shoe.

You know when you take off a tight shoe after three hours of wearing it and say, “Ouch, ouch, ouch, ouch, ouch… ooh, ooh… oh, that feels so good…”? Well… he says that’s what an orgasm is. You build up a sense of restlessness and release it all at once.

(...)

— Marcelo: Freud, researching this back then, says that when a child is about to have a bowel movement, they practically “disappear.” For them, it’s their own ritual. And they stay there, crouched down… holding in the poop and then expelling it. When they expel the poop, you look at the child and they’re completely covered in goosebumps. So they derive pleasure from it. That’s when the child begins to gain bodily control. So they hold back the feces… and expel the feces. And then they feel a sense of satisfaction from expelling the feces. During this phase—the potty-training phase—you also experience repression. How does repression occur? When the child has their first bowel movement, it’s their first “production” in life. In other words, they understand that those feces are THEM. “They and the feces are the same thing.” Do you get it?

— Me: Okay…

— Marcelo: The child picks up the feces and does this… (gesture of running a hand across the face). And does this! (gesture of bringing a hand to the mouth). This isn’t bad for the child. We’re the ones who label it as bad, because of the adults. Adults keep saying, “Ew… poop and stuff…” And so how does repression develop? When the child poops and you say, “Hmm, you little pooper!”; “Yuck! That smells awful!”; “Oh my gosh… you farted!”… then the child thinks, “Man… I stink. And I smell bad because that came out of me.” And since they associate that thought with themselves, you end up damaging their self-esteem. Do you get it?

— Me: Yes! (laughs)

— Marcelo: So, from a psychoanalytic perspective—and this is my view—when a child poops and Grandma comes in, or an adult comes in and says, “Wow… that stinks!” Me: “No, stop it! Sweetie, it doesn’t stink, okay? You’re beautiful, you’re wonderful, everything’s fine.” Got it? Look how… different that is. Since children sometimes enjoy manipulating others—to compensate for the fact that our society doesn’t adapt to this—we use playdough. The modeling clay we give children in kindergarten is a substitute for feces. It has the same texture.

— Me: Is that what it’s actually made for?...

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This is just a excerpt from the book “I Want Scat — Sex with poop, piss and farts.” Read the full, unedited text: learn more about the book here.